Share your stories with others
We can tell you a lot about the hows and whys of IVF, but to understand how it feels, it's better to hear it from someone who's been through it.
So we're collecting your stories...
We'd like to hear your IVF experiences - the highs, the lows, the funny side and the devastating parts. Tell us about how you felt during the two week wait. Tell us the anecdote about the time your husband dropped your Lucrin needle on his foot. Tell us how the Gonal-F made you feel. We'd like to hear it all.
Email your stories to mystory@sydneyivf.com.
Note that we reserve the right to edit grammar, remove personally identifying references and take out anything obviously libellous.
A race against time
It all started in September 2005, just after my 25th birthday, when I was diagnosed with endometriosis.
The doctor prescribed a drug for me called Zoladex which would initially put me through menopause to get rid of the endometriosis. After 6 months of this treatment we found out it had not worked and i was told to try for a baby in the next 6-12 months, otherwise i may never fall pregnant!
I was supposed to get my period back and start ovulating again in March. Unfortunately this did not happen. Our next option was fertility treatment. We tried one cycle of Clomid with no reaction. We increased the dose for another cycle but there was still no reaction so they put me on the injection with artificial insemination for two cycles. I finally ovulated but was not falling pregnant.
Because so little time was given for me to fall pregnant we decided to try IVF. That was in October 2006. I started the injections hoping to begin my cycle in mid November. I was relieved because it was all soon to be over, but I was told my body wasn't quite ready - I had to do it for another two weeks. I was devastated. I didn't know if I could continue any longer. I was sick of the injections. I was hormonal all the time and I was wondering if it was all worth it. Two weeks later I went into the IVF clinic to have my eggs collected. Because I wanted to be a part of it all, I was only lightly sedated.
It was uncomfortable but tolerable. The doctor collected 15 eggs. Of these, 12 fertilised normally, one was fertilised by two sperm, one fertilised itself and the other one didn't fertilise at all. Out of the 12, six survived to Day 5. Five days later we went in to have one embryo transferred (with the other five to be frozen). I was still very tender from the egg collection but I knew the end of the process was close.
A couple of days later my husband and I went on Christmas holidays driving from NSW to Rockhampton. I do suffer car-sickness so I had thought nothing of it when I felt a bit of nausea on the trip. We stopped off for a few days before Christmas at the Gold Coast, where I had my blood test done. Shortly after, I received the phone call saying the test was positive.
We were so happy! The past year of me being very sick and sore was finally worth it and I could now enjoy this pregnancy. Little did I know! Up until the night I had my daughter I had morning/day/night sickness. At the 12 week stage I was so sick and tired I thought "why did we do this?".
I then had my ultrasound and realised it was all worth it. To be able to hold my daughter in my arms for the first time was the best feeling. Everyday I thank my lucky stars and the people that made it possible: Dr Chris James, Anne and Megan from Wollongong Sydney IVF.
We have now moved so unfortunately we can't go back to them, but they were amazing and I just hope we find other people like that to help us through the next cycle. Two years on I still don't ovulate but at least we have another five embryos. All I can say to other people is, keep in mind on those days that you want to give up what it will feel like to hold your baby in your arms for the first time. I was ready to give up but now I have a beautiful baby girl. I couldn't ask for anything more.
...and your children will have children...
My husband and I had been trying for a baby for 3 years and we are 31 years of age. We had all the tests done and we also were placed in the unexplained category. I also tried Chinese herbs for months to get things moving along but no change, then booked a 7 week holiday, travelling South America to relax and forget about trying (hoping that would do the trick). We sure did "relax" and have fun....but nothing.
A couple of months later, we booked in to see our Nurse coordinator, after waiting eagerly for the doors to open after the end of year break.
We were so excited!
I began taking "the pill" and everything went so quickly from there.
The injections were fine, my body reacted well and before I knew it, it was harvest time! And for me, the after surgery was a little more painful than I had hoped for, but nothing now when I look back and everything went perfectly well.
The doctor managed to retrieve 9 eggs, out of 20 something. And they and I were very happy. But on day 1, after they had had a chance to fertilize, 6 had taken. Which was fine. But on day 3 the scientist had informed us that 2 had not further developed, 2 did not look as if they would go further, 1 was good with 7 cells and the other 1 had 5 cells and it had fragmentation starting.
Day 5 finally came and The scientist was right. We still had the 1 good embryo and the second 1 was questionable. We were offered both embryos to be inseminated, rather than wasting the second little precious one and we were very keen on the idea of twins. I took it very easy with myself, walking with my legs tight as possible and lying down for the rest of the day. Knowing that scientifically it would not fall out, but wanting to do all I could also.
My husband and I were over the moon!
We joined a new bank and we even blurted the news out to the bank lady. We received a piggy bank for the baby for joining with them. It was so cute and we were tempted to ask for a second one, hoping we would have twins.
Then the wait... So much hope and then some bouts of uncertainty and despair along the way. I cried and cried one night, thinking that we wouldn't need to make extensions on the house because we would never have children. My mother went straight to God that night (being so faithful and believing as she is) and asked God for help. She opened her Bible and the first text she read was "...and your children will have children and build themselves houses...." I kid you not!! She always goes to the Bible for answers but not that kind of "flip open and get your answer" kind of thing. Then all my doubts vanished and I knew our baby would be here soon.
Finally the day of the phone call was here. I took myself shopping to pass the time as quickly as possible. My Nurse Lyn was prompt with her call and I jumped for joy in the middle of a David Jones store. Called my husband. We couldn"t wait to say and hear it face to face.
At the 7 week ultrasound we found out that we were pregnant with one baby. We were a little disappointed but relieved to know that it never took. The baby that was there was looking great, with a strong heart beat.
I had no morning sickness but was extremely exhausted.
Week 12 ultrasound....everything looking perfect.
Week 16 ultrasound....(We just couldn't wait to see it again and wanted to know if it's a he or she)..baby's looking great and we all think it's a he!
Energy’s coming back and I am 18 weeks pregnant as I write this and all is well. Praise be to God and big thanks to the Sydney IVF team!
A long time coming
Jim and I had tried for six years to naturally conceive a child. Charting and hormone tests and Chinese herbs and acupuncture and investigative surgery and D&Cs did nothing to help. Eventually we just gave up and decided we would be perfectly happy never having children at all. We were kidding ourselves and the hole that it left in our lives became greater and more encompassing as time passed.
Strangely enough our introduction to IVF was when I answered an ad in our local paper from a couple looking for an egg donor. It seemed heartbreaking to me that a couple would go through so many failed IVF attempts to have a child when all they needed was a healthy egg. So we met with them with the intention of donating but never really thinking that IVF was right for us.
I was very disappointed to discover that Sydney IVF had restrictions on who could donate- and as we had not completed our family were unable to help. But it got us to thinking. Why had we not tried IVF? Could we handle the emotions involved and the possible disappointments? How much of ourselves were we willing to give over to the dream of having a child?
From our first phone conversations and meeting our local Ob/Gyn at the Sydney IVF satellite clinic we were hooked and, for me, it seemed like it could not happen quickly enough. We talked about it a lot and decided we would try two cycles and, if they were unsuccessful, we would accept that and move on. Financially that was all we felt we could commit to, and we did not want our relationship to suffer in an extended battle for what we might never achieve.
We were too impatient to wait for a cycle to be conducted locally. It felt like the time was NOW and the delay of even a couple of months seemed an eternity. So we decided to travel to Newcastle so we could start straight away.
I researched everything I could get my hands on online. I read a hundred and one different stories and medical journals and compared protocols and which clinics did what and tested for which hormones and how success rates varied with every imaginable scenario. I had hormone charts and stats with eggs retrieved and fertilized and transferred and frozen. I needed to know everything about each step in the process and could not get enough statistics to satisfy me. What I really wanted to know was if it would work for me?
I think I coped really well with our cycle. The injections were so simple and I looked forward to each new stage of the cycle as another step closer to our goal. I was not overly hormonal or irrational or emotional. But I was definitely on edge. My period came while I was still taking the pill- not at all on schedule. My follicles did not respond all that well and we were delayed a week while I continued on the stims in the hopes that we could get some better results. It does not sound major to write it now, but at the time it felt disastrous. Once again my body had let me down and was not producing enough eggs and I thought being delayed that extra week would mean everything was out of wack and there was no way it would work.
After that extra week I still did not have many decent eggs and my E2 numbers were rather average. The clinic guessed I might get a few eggs but we were given the option of whether to continue with retrieval with low numbers, or to allow this cycle to end and wait until next month with higher stim doses. We were assured that sometimes you only need one egg!!! But also that a few more mature follicles would be preferable seeing as the major cost of the cycle was in retrieval, and part of the decision for us was financial.
But I was unable to just quit. A good part of me felt like I lost all faith in the cycle and just wanted to get to the point where they retrieved something so I could see if our problem lay in the quality of my eggs, or in fertilization or where?? I still had a seed of hope that I could not let go of, but this first cycle became more of a scientific exercise than any real hope of a child. I think that attitude worked for me and helped me to not get too freaked out.
Egg retrieval was quite simple and quick. It was great to watch on the screen although I really could not see all that much. I would have loved to have watched from a better angle but obviously being one of the main participants it was rather important for me to stay where I was!
As predicted we got three eggs. I was devastated when the two women having their eggs collected the same morning both had over a dozen eggs each. It seemed so unfair. I think that was the first time in the cycle that I actually cried.
I spent the next few days playing number games in my head. Running every conceivable scenario with how many eggs might fertilize and how many survive to day three and how many might make it to blast and if there was any chance at all that we could hope for a successful pregnancy.
We had planned a family holiday to help with the two week wait. But as we had been delayed a week earlier in the cycle the holiday was now right in between retrieval and transfer. Even though we are very close with our family we had chosen not to tell anyone about IVF. We did not want an audience or questions. We wanted to deal with the journey in our own way, together. So the holiday became difficult as I was preoccupied with the progress of our embryos. It was probably good to be away but I was not feeling the most sociable!
Hearing news that all three eggs had fertilized was amazing. I became a little more nervous and optimistic at that stage. I knew there were still so many things that had to go right but having three fertilized eggs!!! WOW!
Watching the clock until we could phone in on day three was nerve-wracking. I can’t remember now how many cells our embryos had but there was one good one and two slow fellas, but so far they were all still dividing and developing nicely. My head swam. And the number games began again.
We would not know until we returned to the clinic on day five if any had survived to blastocyst and it was the end of our holiday. We drove to Newcastle on the way back home with a quick stop into the clinic to, hopefully, take an embryo home with us.
I was up and down like a yo-yo. Excited and scared and hopeful and not wanting to hope all at the same time. I just needed to know! Waiting was killing me. We were ushered into the procedure room before anyone had actually told us how things went. And there on the screen was our embryo!!!! Thank you!!! And the other two were still alive. Not as robust as the champion on the screen and needing a little more time but it was possible that they would both be frozen later that day. We had a back-up! It seemed surreal. From three eggs we had three blastocysts!
Transfer was totally anticlimactic. So simple. And then the waiting REALLY began. The two week wait sucked. It felt like it took two months. The two week wait of a natural cycle is nothing compared to the neverending see-saw of an IVF 2ww. Every possible change in your body is a possible sign of success, or failure, or both! Am I tired, hungry? I felt a twinge! Is that good or bad? I feel crampy, it must be my period… maybe it’s implantation? Just get it over with already!!!!
I could not wait for the beta and did a home test the day before. I wish I had not. It was sooooo incredibly faint that I had no idea if it was just left over hormone from the trigger shot or what it was. The waiting continued but with no sign of my period I was on edge.
I think I put off phoning the clinic for results until ten minutes past the scheduled time. I did not want to appear too eager or desperate! Idiot! I was pregnant!!!!!!!! It felt like an impossible dream.
I wanted to just relax and enjoy the amazing fact that I was pregnant. But it felt like it was too good to be true. I phoned the clinic a few days later wanting another beta. Was I still pregnant? I could not tell. I did not feel any different? How would I know? I was told there was not point at this stage of another beta; either the pregnancy would be viable or it would not, there was nothing else to be done except to wait. It was not what I wanted to hear and not at all helpful. But it was the truth and in hindsight the best thing for me. I think there comes a point when we have to stop trying to control and manage things and just let it be. But I was still a long way from that insight.
It’s amazing how slowly the first trimester went. I had so little faith in my body that I felt like something might go wrong at any time. We waited to tell our family until after the heart-beat scan and it was wonderful to finally share our journey and our excitement.
I was overjoyed when the morning sickness kicked in. Every time I vomited I felt relief! I’ve never heard of another women loving morning sickness so much but that horrible tired, drained, and queasy feeling was heaven to me.
My pregnancy had a few ups and downs. It was not a wonderfully comfortable pregnancy! I had a threatened pre-term labour at 33 weeks and as my local hospital is unable to care for a baby that premature I was flown to John Hunter in Newcastle. Thankfully things calmed and after a few days I was able to return home and told to take it easy!
Scans at John Hunter showed the baby to be breech and this was checked at each antenatal appointment. It seemed like a big deal to the midwives and the obstetrician and people started talking about caesarian sections. I was not interested. There was no way I was having an elective c/s and I did everything I could to get the baby to turn. Homeopathics and acupuncture and chiropractic techniques did not work. I asked at the antenatal clinic if any of the doctors would do an ECV or a natural breech birth. No one seemed interested. It was possible they might consider an ECV so long as the theatre was available for an emergency c/s. I was not filled with confidence.
So I made enquiries on my own and found a doctor in Newcastle that was not only skilled and experienced with ECVs but he would also discuss a vaginal birth if the ECV was not successful. So at 37 weeks we travelled once again to Newcastle. I am so glad we did and I wish more women were told of the options for a breech baby rather than being scared into major surgery. The ECV was relatively quick and only mildly uncomfortable. We were back home that afternoon with a bub head-down, and I was finally relaxed for the first time in weeks.
After nine months that felt like an eternity I finally went into labour. I had planned a natural birth as I was very much not interested in the drugs and their effect on the baby. But things don’t always go as planned. I had a loooong labour. From my contractions being 5min apart it was still another 56 hours until I birthed. Twelve of those in fully active labour after having my waters broken. I was exhausted. In hindsight I wish I had of stayed home longer and trusted in my body but having come this far relying on medical technology and doctors I felt so unsure and unable to trust that my body knew what it was doing and I needed a doctor to reassure me that things were ok.
My baby was posterior and the back pain was incredible. I should have stayed home in the bath as that relieved the pain. But I didn’t. Pethadine helped for a few hours. The medical staff were doubting that I could continue to labour and a c/s was mentioned and suggested countless times. Although it went against everything I had wanted I consented to an epidural about 6hours before my son was born. It was, at that stage, the only thing that allowed me to birth vaginally so I do not regret having it. Thankfully it had worn off before my son crowned so I was fully able to push myself and had regained full feeling and control.
Just before midnight on the 11th June the most perfect little boy was born. Jordan Kenneth. Just writing his name here makes me teary. He is an incredible, wonderful miracle that is now 20months old.
My period returned 7 weeks post partum and we began trying naturally for another child when Jordan was only a few months old. By the time he was six months I was using ovulation prediction tests and we were discussing a time frame for our frozen embryo transfer.
My cycle was still irregular, as you would expect as Jordan was fully breastfed and still fed at least a couple of times overnight. I had not wanted to stop breastfeeding until he was 12months old but the desire for another child was almost overwhelming. I made the heartbreaking decision to wean him at ten months. I look back now and realize how young he was. I still have not healed emotionally from that decision and although I find it difficult to regret that choice it is also one I will never make again.
Once again we chose not to tell our family about our plans for IVF. After the blood tests etc we were scheduled for our first FET on mother’s day! It felt like a good omen to me! We were all packed and on the way to Newcastle for transfer when we received the call that neither of our embryos had survived the thaw process. We immediately planned a complete cycle but it was hard news to take. I had been so sure that at least one of the embryos would survive.
The second complete cycle was almost easy! I was nowhere near as nervous or preoccupied with it. I have no idea if that is because we had one successful cycle and so were more confident, or if just being familiar with the process made it seem less alien to us, or if having a child to chase after and care for kept me too busy to focus on what we were doing. I was still nervous and excited but I did not feel so overwhelmed by it all.
I was on an increased stim dose and so was hopeful for lots more eggs! I secretly thought that we may even get enough eggs this time to have quite a few frozen embryos to allow us to complete our family just from this one extra cycle as we had decided that we would ideally love to have three children. I felt pretty good the second cycle. I had been so slim and fit the first time that I felt soooo tight and bloated and sore while on the stims. This time I had a little baby-padding left and did not feel so sore.
I got my period completely off schedule again. But this time I had some much better follicles. I still felt like I was a rather average responder and, being greedy, I would have liked a few more. But six eggs were collected and I was rather happy with that. Then I received the devastating news that only three had fertilized. I had so hoped for more than that this time. I had made the mistake of calling the clinic from work and felt all adrift. Knowing that only three fertilized was not enough information for me. I needed to know why. It was wonderful to talk to the scientists in the lab that worked with the eggs to find out what went wrong. It helped a lot to know that although five initially fertilized only three fertilized normally. Still, I could not believe it!
The next couple of days was probably nearly as scary as it was the first time. I just wanted to know how they were doing. Day three came and all three were still alive. One was looking rather slow and sorry and may not survive, but the other two looked promising.
We had the best of the embryos (a huge 10-cell dude!) transferred and then had to wait to hear how the other embryos developed. I was hoping that we would have one to freeze because the new cryo techniques SIVF would use this time had really great success rates and I really wanted a backup.
I’m not sure how I felt after the phone call telling me that neither embryo had survived. I think if I had of heard prior to transfer I would have been more upset. I knew I should be focusing on the nice strong embryo that was already back home but it was hard to accept that this was going to be our only chance this time around. I had never even considered that we would have fewer chances this cycle than last time.
I decided to do a home pregnancy test well before it would be an accurate positive so I could make sure there was no left-over trigger hormone in my system. Then I waited until the day before beta to test again. I was actually a little confident as there were a few signs that suggested maybe!! but I did not want to get carried away with too much optimism just in case. Once again I got a line that was soooo faint as to be almost invisible. Stupid $1 ebay HPTs! I sent Jim out to the chemist at 7 in the morning to get a nice expensive test! Positive!!!!
I was almost blasé on beta day. I was confident that I was pregnant and was tempted to not even go for the blood test. But I had to know for sure. My hCG levels were nice and high!!It was an amazing feeling to have been so incredibly lucky. I still can’t believe how lucky we have been to have two successful pregnancies from two transfers. I do not take that miracle lightly and feel incredibly fortunate to have been under the care of SIVF.
I am now 36 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy has been wonderful. I feel so fit and well. Having been able to let go of the fear and instead just trust in my body has made such a difference. I wish I could have had this calm feeling of contentment the first time around, but maybe it takes more faith than I had then, or maybe I just did not fully understand the miracle of pregnancy and birth and how perfectly I have been designed for it.
We have chosen a wonderful midwife who has cared for me one-on-one throughout the pregnancy. With her support we are planning a homebirth, and I am so looking forward to birthing naturally this time. This change of attitude has given me such a lift and such a confidence boost that it is hard to put into words. It has been liberating not relying on ultrasounds and dopplers, and instead just cherishing the strength and movement of our child.
I never comprehended how much joy could be found in being a mother. I find it hard to even resent the fact that we had to wait so long as I think the wait has made us truly appreciate the gift we now have. Although it may sound selfish I am particularly grateful that we were not able to donate my eggs when we had first planned to. Having come to understand that an egg is so much more than just a simple egg I think having given away that life would have haunted me forever. At the time I did not understand enough about the power of being a parent to be able to make that kind of decision.
We may still donate once our family is complete. It is only right that every couple is given every chance to become parents. But it will be an emotional and difficult decision and not one I will make lightly.
top of page
Fibroid scarring no barrier to success
After what seemed like ages trying to fall pregnant, time which included numerous ultrasounds, scans, a hysterscopy and laproscopy and of course lots of sex (much to my husband’s delight), we were told by our doctor that we needed fertility assistance due to the internal scarring I had suffered as a result of having fibroids removed some 18 months ago.
Being impatient as I am, I was excited that we were finally able to do something to get the process moving. We were told what our chances were so my expectations of first time success were low, but it would be nice to finally have luck on our side.
9 June
We had our interview at the clinic with one of the nurses, Mandy. She was lovely. She thoroughly explained everything and gave both my husband, Dean and I the opportunity to ask questions. When she discussed the injections I just hoped that Dean was listening well cause there was no way I was going to do any of that to myself. It was quite exciting - our first step. Now I just had to wait for my next period so the process could begin.
23 June
My period started. I've never wished for it to start early as I had with this one. I am just eager to start the process. I begin taking the pill today.
I call the nurses and am told when to start the Lucrin injections and when my first blood test will be. At this stage I am told that egg collection (or Easter as I call it) will happen in the first week of August. It's so nice, me being a control freak and all, to have a date like that so I can plan.
11 July
Start the Lucrin injections today. Dean was quite gentle so it was nowhere near as bad as I had expected. Let’s hope this continues.
13 July
Finish taking the pill today. I was told to expect my period to start in two days time.
I have been suffering the worst PMS, feeling very unwell for the days leading up to and the days during. I couldn't wait for it to stop. Fortunately the feelings only lasted five days and I was back to feeling well again.
18 July
My first blood test. That afternoon I promptly get the phone call that all is good and to continue the daily Lucrin injections and start Puregon on 21 July. Another exciting step in the process. Not that I am excited about having to now have two injections.
21 July
Today is the day that I have two injections each morning. The whole process isn't too bad. There are days where they hurt more than others but it's quick and then over with for another 24 hours. I definitely could not do this myself. The hardest thing is that we have to set the alarm for weekends to do the injections.
24 July
Day of my second blood test. The results are good. Dean comes in with me this time. He sees what a quick process it is - all done in a matter of minutes and then off to work with little fuss. It makes it very easy for working women by allowing the process to happen with little or no disruption.
26 July
Third blood test today and my first ultrasound. The Puregon injection hurt today, I think my right cheek is resisting the needles now - it's had enough pain. In addition the poor nurse had difficulty getting any blood from the vein - it too has packed it in. So the right arm had to be produced. This concerned me a little, only two tests and already one arm doesn’t work.
Anyway, I move on downstairs with Dean for my ultrasound. He comes in with me: a) for mortal support; and b) to listen to the nurse and see what is happening inside me. She had difficulty finding my left ovary - not sure why but she doesn't seem too perturbed. I was just glad to get out of there as the longer the search went, the more discomfort I felt. Over all, the process is not too bad - I had experienced it before, so no big deal. It was good for Dean to see the screen and measurements. I'm not real sure what they mean but I'm sure all will be explained when I get my results later today.
The call came through and I have to go in again on Friday, I have to ensure that they do everything possible to see my left ovary
28 July
The injections the last few days have been much better - less painful. I was a little anxious having the ultrasound today, worried they might not be able to see my left ovary again. This time the girl was much more patient but was still having difficulty so instead of looking internally she decided to see could see all via my stomach. She counted 8 follicles in total, 4 each side, which I figured was promising. Felt much more positive today. The call this afternoon advised me that the doctor was reluctant to leave me over the weekend so I have to come in tomorrow - there goes any Saturday morning sleep in.
29 July
I again have blood test and ultrasound, left side external again. It amazes me how quickly the follicles grow! I wasn't expecting much of a change in one day but there was 20% increase in size. The call comes through at 2pm on Saturday afternoon and the nurse tells me to take the trigger injection at 8pm tonight as egg collection is happening 8am Monday. I'm very excited. I wasn't expecting it to happen just yet but no complaints (and Monday is a good day to miss work).
31 July
I got up as usual and got to the clinic by 7.30am. We are early so Dean and I have a quick breakfast first in the nearby cafe. I am a bit nervous about the procedure but figure it can't be any worse than what I have already gone through. We go into together and I get changed into the “lovely” outfit. Dean gets to wear just the shoes covers and the gown over his clothes... so not fair. We are met by the scientist who is lovely. She explained what her role in the process is, then my doctor came to see us and explain a bit more. Then off we go.
I sat in the gyno chair, not very lady-like. The best part was the drugs given intravenously - they make me feel a little drunk. The process starts. Dean is quiet fascinated by it all and watches intently while I grip his hand. It doesn’t really hurt; I just feel a bit of discomfort. However, overall it was not nearly as bad as I expected. Mark had to go through my stomach to get to my left ovary. so I need another local anaesthetic.
While he is doing that the scientist say she has 4 eggs. Very exciting! It felt a bit weird going through my stomach but it seemed to work just as well. It's over and done with in no time at all, which is a relief. I am then wheeled into the recovery area. I feel a bit groggy but very little pain, just a bit of cramping.
I sit and have a cup of tea whilst we wait f or the scientist and Mark to see us. The scientist tells us that we have 6 eggs. I feel a little disappointed, as I had hoped for more, but six is OK. We only need one good one. Dean then has to go to provide his very important sample. While he is gone I doze on and off. Mark came to see me while Dean was gone. He said that 6 is good considering the number is probably limited as a result of my previous operation, so that makes me a little happier. Dean returned not long after and I sat there a bit longer as the drugs wore off. We overheard Mark tell another couple that they have 4 eggs, though he had hoped for 7 to 9, so I realise that 6 is not that bad after all.
We now keep our fingers crossed whilst we wait for the call which will come tomorrow. We are told to expect Saturday at the transfer day which is good, I hate having to take time off work without giving a proper explanation. On our way out of the city, around 10am, I tell Dean that I feel OK to go back to work. We go to work on the proviso that if I feel unwell at any stage we leave. I worked till 2.30pm.
1 August
The nurses call me to tell me all 6 eggs have fertilised. This is very exciting news. I need to have one more injection of Pregnyl tomorrow to prepare my uterus. It's amazing, I think about them and we talk about them as though they are real babies - our 6 little babies.
3 August
I call the clinic to ask about out embryos. Am told we have 2 good (8 cells) , 2 fair (5 cells) , 1 fair (4 cells) and 1 poor(3 cells). I feel a little disappointed with this news but the nurse assures me that the fair can still improve. They are all growing a little slower than normal; I tell Dean that's a result of his genes.
4 August
I speak to the nurses and am told transfer will definitely be tomorrow at 10am, Saturday. I am very excited and nervous.
5 August
My girlfriend Kristy comes with me, as Dean has to look after his children. As we have kept this all quiet it was too difficult to explain what we were doing if we went together. It was a big issue for Dean as he felt strongly about being there for the transfer, he hated the thought of missing it. But we really had no other easy option. So Kristy came with me.
We arrived in the city early and went to the cafe nearby for a quick coffee to kill time. The guy behind the counter was friendly and said, "What are you girls doing in O' Connell Street on a Saturday, shopping for dresses?" If only he knew. It made us laugh. After our coffees it was off to the clinic. I suspected the males of the two other couples waiting with us thought we were lesbians, seeing two women together at an IVF clinic. I really don't care at this stage.
I get dressed in the wonderful gear and wait for the scientist and Mark to see me before the procedure. Kristy is impressed she too has to dress in the "CSI gear". The scientist sees us first, a little surprised to see two females as he has Dean's name on his documents. Anyway, he says that we have one really good egg to transfer and he wants to wait another 24 hours to see how the others go before he makes a decision about how many to freeze. This concerns me a little as I was really hoping to have at least one spare, but he assures me that things are still positive. Mark sees me and tells me what will occur.
We are led to the theatre. Once again I get to sit in the wonderful chair. Kristy sits next to me and looks anxious. Kristy and I agreed there would be no below the waist vision. I assured her that sitting next to me would not allow this anyway. We got to see the embryo (blastocyst) on the screen before it was collected in the needle. Then before I knew it that transfer had been completed and Mark was holding my hands and wishing me the best.
The whole procedure was easier than a pap smear. Didn't feel a thing. As a result it was hard to grasp the enormity of what had just happened. I now had an embryo inside that had a great chance of becoming a baby. It's now up to nature to do her work. There is nothing more anyone can do. This is weird because up till now everything has been so controlled. Now the waiting starts. We joked with Mark about standing on my head so it didn't fall out and all the other fallacies. Mark said that Kristy was welcome back because she laughed at his jokes.
I was led back to recovery where that took another blood test to see where my hormone levels were at so they could advise tomorrow about how many units of the final Pregnyl injection to have.
Feeling a little fragile emotionally I went and got changed. We decide to go for hot chocolate at the Lindt cafe - the best medicine and then went home to tell Dean everything that had happened. I spent the rest of the day relaxing with my feet up, taking it easy. I had decided to take the coming Monday and Tuesday off work to give myself the best possible chance by taking it easy in the early stages, although there is really nothing to suggest that this makes any difference. I just didn't want any regrets.
6 August
The clinic rang me before the 2pm required time to tell me that my hormone levels were all fine and the level of Pregnyl to inject. The nurse asked how I was feeling and wished me luck. She advised that I could ring on Monday to find out what had been frozen.
7 August
I called Sydney IVF to be told that one egg had been frozen. I called Dean right away to let him know we had a spare. Very happy. So now I just have to take it easy, remaining relaxed and look after myself. The 11 days until the pregnancy test are agonising. The lack of control and reading everything that your body feels and experiences is torturous. Dean reminds me to be patient. Easy for him to say.
As each day passes I feel excitement but am still trying to partly prepare myself for bad news at the same time. After all, I don't know what it feels like to be pregnant, and most women this early stage don't even know they are pregnant. It's difficult not to get hopeful that the news will be good. I tell myself that if I make it through the final weekend then I have a really good chance. As the days pass my stomach seems to have swollen significantly, so much that I look about 6 months pregnant. Dean thinks it is a great joke.
15 August
One more day until my blood test. I'm feeling quite well. Getting very hopeful.I feel I have now done all I can.
16 August
In the clinic early this morning for what is hopefully the final part of the cycle. My last blood test to confirm pregnancy. I can't believe we've made it to this day, day 11. The wait was agonising. My stomach feels a little less bloated - what I eat seems to affect it. So now all I can do is wait for the phone call. At 1pm Rachel called to tell me that I was PREGNANT. I cried over the phone and thanked her for the news. She gave me a few instructions and then I hung up so I could ring Dean to tell him the news. We are going to have a baby. To be pregnant in the first cycle was truly a blessing. I can't wait to become a mum.
2 September
Had a bit of bleeding this morning, not quite a period but enough to be concerning. The only good thing was that I was not suffering from any pain or discomfort. As it was a Saturday I waited until 8.30am and rang the IVF clinic to get some advice from the nurses. They called me back and said not to worry and just take it easy. They suggested I move my 7 week viability scan earlier if I was still concerned on Monday and gave me the option to come in the next day for a blood test. I took the blood test option - just to ease my mind before Monday. However, as the day passed the bleeding lessened which made me less concerned. My glands were a little sore and I felt I had a flu starting.
3 September
Fathers' Day - today was meant to be exciting, instead I felt unwell and worried. I took the early morning visit to the clinic for my blood test, despite the bleeding ceasing. I got a call in the afternoon to say that my hormone levels were still as expected at this stage and that I was still pregnant- what a relief. Was tired at the end of the day but it had been a 'big' weekend.
4 September
Woke up this morning feeling very fluey and with my voice going. I sounded dreadful. As the day went I on was progressively losing my voice and sounding more and more dreadful. So much so that I was told to go home. I spent the afternoon in bed, blaming being pregnant for my poor immunity.
5 September
Today is my birthday and I'm sick in bed - how exciting. Oh well - I just have to take it easy. I rang Dean after he went to work and told him not to cancel the plans he had made for dinner so that my birthday wasn't completing depressing. After being in bed all day my Mum drove me to meet Dean. We had a lovely dinner in a fancy restaurant in the city. I got home that night having at least had an enjoyable night with my husband, despite not being able to talk - I had completely lost my voice. But I don't think Dean was complaining.
6 September
I was still not feeling 100% and decided to stay home again, not wanting to put too much pressure on my body. As it turned out that was just as well. I was feeling a bit itchy. My legs seemed to have numerous mozzie bites on them. I rang Dean and asked if he had been bitten - presuming it must have happened on the walk back last night. As I talked to him I noticed more and more "bites" all over me. Dean immediately said, “That sounds like chicken pox - get yourself to the doctor”. So I quickly had a shower, got dressed and went to the local doctor. As soon as he saw me he diagnosed chicken pox, the only small catch is that I'm pregnant. He sent me home and assured me he would speak to Dr Mark and let me know what to do.
Mark rang me around midday, mainly to ease my mind about any danger to the baby. The concern was purely on my health. He then rang the local doctor and they discussed my care moving forward. Mark had been at RPA so he had access to the registrar and was able to get the latest on infectious diseases. The GP then rang me and advised that there was a drug called Zovirax that I could take if I was certain that I had chicken pox and not just an allergy. But I had to make the decision within 24 hours of having noticed the spots for it to have effect. I rang Dean, he left work pick up the prescription from the GP and got it filled. I was in pain and very itchy. At 7pm Dean made the call for me to take the drug. After that I had two baths to try and ease my skin and was painted in calomine lotion in an attempt to be able to get some sleep.
7 September
Despite looking terrible, and warning the ultrasound clinic the day before I turned up for my 10.15am appointment for the 7 week viability scan. It was done internally and externally. The feeling of seeing a small beating heart inside of me was incredible and made the dramas of the last few days all forgotten.
10 September
After a few restless nights where I had to take a bath in the early hours of the morning to prevent going crazy, painting myself constantly with calomine lotion the spots are gone, and beside feeling a little tired and feeling back to my normal self. The doctor suggested I have until Tuesday off, so I took advantage of that to ensure that I was well enough to be at work and didn't place any unneeded stress on my body, and more importantly the baby.
Once the spots and itching were gone, I was able to concentrate on being pregnant and getting through the first 3 months so that we could then begin to tell people our great news. Due to still having fibroids my baby stomach grew rapidly and it was very difficult to hide my growing in size. Finally the three months came and we were finally able to share the news of our pregnancy and I could finally enjoy being pregnant rather than trying to hide it in my tightening clothes. I was well during my pregnancy and thoroughly enjoyed my time. We had all the relevant scans and tests, including keeping an eye on my growing fibroids. All was going very well - mum and baby healthy and happy.
But the drama did not end there, my blood pressure sky rocketed at 37 weeks to 180/ 100 on March 30th and I was told to go to hospital. On April 5, 2007 at 8.47am I gave birth to Elly with my husband by my side. A beautiful girl weighing 2.5kg and 47cm in length.
To finish, all I can say is that we were very, very lucky to get pregnant from our first IVF cycle. Our little miracle baby is healthy and certainly worth it all.
top of page
To try and fail, or not to try
Colin and I moved to Sydney from the UK in April 2007. We’ve been trying to conceive for five years and have been classified as having “unexplained fertility”. For us, this seems worse than having a problem that can be fixed, although I know we should be grateful that we are both OK and healthy.
We took a long time deciding if IVF was right for us. We weighed up the pros (a baby) versus a long list of cons (emotional rollercoaster, effect of the drugs both in the short and long-term, financial considerations, unnatural process, etc). However, during one lovely holiday on the Isle of Skye, my husband asked me – would you rather regret having tried and failed or not trying at all? He can be such a clever so-and-so sometimes. So, we decided to do one (and only one) IVF procedure with a private clinic in London.
I have a raised FSH level (varying from 12 to 18) so we weren’t even sure that we’d get to the transfer stage. But amazingly (and every step is an achievement) we managed to transfer two embryos a couple of weeks before Christmas. I’m quite superstitious and during a difficult transfer the embryologist called for the Sydney IVF catheter. Knowing at this stage that we were about to embark on a two-year stay down under, I couldn’t help thinking that this was a sign...
The blood test to determine whether I was pregnant or not was due on Christmas day – talk about timing! We ended up having it 2 days before Christmas and unfortunately it was negative.
So, what now? A new life begins in Sydney for Colin and I with the words of our London doctor ringing in our ears – “you responded well to the procedure and I think Sydney IVF is one of the best clinics there is” – but we agreed we’d only undergo one procedure... didn’t we?
On reflection the whole process was not nearly as bad as I had anticipated and I think because of that and the reputation of Sydney IVF, we decided to try again. After reviewing the possible consultants to see, we set up an appointment with Dr Livingstone based solely on the fact that he is a fellow Scot (another sign!). We’ve found him to be very professional with a lovely, relaxed manner – operating at the top of his game. So thank you Mark – you and your colleagues at Sydney IVF have made this process bearable.
Once you’ve had one IVF cycle and are undergoing a second, you can’t help but compare the two. We started off well with a FSH reading of 9 – my lowest score yet!! The drug protocol was completely different and felt much more natural the second time around as the quantity was greatly reduced and I didn’t start the Orgalutran until later in my cycle. The productive right ovary performed well and was growing a number of follicles; however ‘Lazy Left’ was dragging its heels at just two follicles. I began to panic as during my first cycle I’d produced 16 follicles in total and here I was looking at single figures. Colin, as always, looked on the positive side and kept stressing that it was quality and not quantity that we needed.
So, the day of egg collection arrives and I’m nervous as last time I was given a mild form of general anaesthetic which meant I wasn’t conscious during the procedure and this time all that was on offer was some ‘drugs to get me in the mood’, some local anaesthetic and a chance to see my follicles and eggs (fingers crossed) on the big screen. But Dr Livingstone was right (again) – it was such an amazing experience – I’m so glad that I was conscious throughout.
From the 9 follicles that were removed we had seven eggs (although two were immature). Again, statistically speaking we were behind where we were last time, although it only takes one….At this stage, it’s just a numbers game and from the 7 eggs, we managed to fertilise 6 (Colin was happy with that score).
However, at day of transfer we were told that only two had made it through to blastocyst stage and that one of these wasn’t looking great so would probably not be suitable to freeze. After discussion with Mark, we decided to place both embryos back to maximise our chances.
Mark was aware that transfer was difficult first time around so was able to have a ‘trial run’ with the catheter before putting the embryos back – the whole process was so much easier than last time and hardly painful at all. There is a dull period-type ache for a few seconds and then it’s all over.
We’re now on Day 6 of the long two-week wait and I’m trying to interpret and decipher every move and twinge my body makes. I’m currently in ‘negative’ phase where I sense that my period is about to start. However, this may have moved to a ‘positive’ phase by the end of today – this is such an emotional rollercoaster and it changes by the hour. Thank goodness for the unwavering love of my husband and for the supportive network at Sydney IVF.
Wish us luck on Sunday – it can’t come soon enough.
top of page
Not sure if I can keep going
My husband and I tried to conceive naturally for two years.
I knew I would have problems as I was also unable to conceive in my previous marriage and have never had any accident pregnancies. My husband already has a nine-year-old boy from his first marriage. I have had three surgeries in the past to remove my endometriosis and my husband has had bowel and liver cancer followed by high doses of chemotherapy.
I come from a European background and from the moment I got married the question of "when are you going to start a family" did not stop. I am in my 30s and I am apparently getting old so I shouldn't put it off much longer! Everywhere I turned, friends and family members were falling pregnant, some through trying others, by sheer accident. Every time my husband and I would visit the happy couple with the new baby people would say, "Oh let her hold it, maybe she will get clucky"!
My husband had his sperm tested as he was sure that he was the problem but his sperm results came back as fantastic. So it all came down to me!
My gynaecologist found no reason why I couldn’t fall pregnant as I am producing "super dooper" quality eggs. He put me on fertility tablets for three months, guaranteeing that I would be pregnant. My husband and I thought it would be perfect timing as we were just about to embark on a European holiday and thought, "Wouldn't it be great if we could come back and tell everybody that we are pregnant". Every night I would get out my ovulation graph and thermometer and become a scientist so that I would know when I was ovulating, what days to have intercourse, etc. Unfortunately for me, the more I try to understand my body, the more it decides to confuse me - even when I brought the graphs back to my gynaecologist - he said I was all over the place.
We all decided that IVF was our next step. Our first cycle seemed to go forever. I was put on the contraceptive pill for a while and the side effects were excruciating. I couldn't stop vomiting and was told that if I couldn't keep the pill down that they would have to insert it vaginally! After hearing that, I was adamant that I was not going to vomit and I was to lay down straight after taking it. Luckily the side effects disappeared but made me anxious about the hormone injections that were yet to come.
When I first started the Lucrin I was sceptical and scared. I don't have a problem with needles and am intrigued by them usually, but doing them to yourself is a completely different thing. So my husband would inject me every morning before he went to work (bless him). I started to get tiny bruises all over my stomach but I didn't mind. What I did mind was having my stomach and my breasts quadruple in size. I had to buy new bras but they were still uncomfortable and my stomach felt like a balloon. The bad thing was that I now started to look pregnant and people thought I was trying to hide it. I couldn't wait for this to be over.
I was told my progress was looking good and was ready for the egg pick up which went really smooth. My husband and I kept joking that our eggs and sperm now had to have "sex" in a dish. We got the results and had ten eggs collected. From those ten eggs, eight fertilised normally. We had one transferred and three embryos were not suitable for freezing. That left us with four.
The day that the embryo was transferred I was told by my specialist, "Congratulations, you are now pregnant" - the rest was up to my body.
For the next 11 days, I tried not to think about it and managed to forget about it. The night before my blood test I didn't sleep, I was so anxious. By the time I went for the test, I was secretly convinced that maybe I was pregnant … until I got the news. I came back with a negative result but it wasn't a positive negative. My levels weren't exactly at the pregnancy stage but were not also a negative. At this stage the nurse advised that it was unlikely I was pregnant but we would have to repeat the test in a couple of days to confirm.
I was shattered, an absolute mess! I didn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I cancelled appointments, missed people's birthdays, wouldn't return phone calls and cried for a week. My husband would hold me for hours and wipe my tears and say "We will get there. It's OK. We have each other" (again bless him).
I was sick of people saying that it didn't matter and that it would happen next time and to keep trying and have faith and its OK. Well, no, it's not OK. Damn it, there are people out there taking drugs that don't want to fall pregnant and they do - why, why couldn't I fall pregnant? (And eventually we won’t be able to afford this anymore.)
I eventually got over it (not really), and decided that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. This time around I didn't tell anyone. After waiting for a month (as you have to), we decided that we would try again with our frozen embryos. This time was different, no hormones just a lot more blood tests (my veins were still trying to recover from the last time as I bruised severely in the last cycle and the nurses felt sorry for me every time they looked at my arms).
This time though was OK. When the time was right - after what seemed like a million blood tests and two weeks of my husband and I waking up at 6.00am during my husband's Christmas holidays (bless him) - we decided on transferring two embryos. I don't know why, but immediately after the transfer and the entire way home I cried uncontrollably. I kept saying to my husband, "I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this". The worst thing is was that we had booked a quick holiday and the pregnancy test fell smack in the middle of that so I had to delay it by three days. That meant that the test was now due to fall on my birthday. It would either be the best birthday present in the world or the birthday from hell.
It didn't matter. Two days before the test I started bleeding heavily. I was in the middle of my holiday, I knew I wasn't pregnant and I just wanted to go home. But like a trooper I stayed on, faked a few smiles and on the day of my pregnancy test and birthday woke up and went for the test. I wasn't very interested in knowing the results as I already knew them but I was interested in knowing if they had at least attempted to latch on. So when I received the phone call and the news that I already knew, I asked what the levels were and I was told that unfortunately - no, they hadn't even latched on. Yep I cried but this time only briefly (as I was also really sick of crying). Not even attempting to latch on, wow - what was wrong with my body? I would rather have something wrong with me so that the doctors could fix it and then move on than have "unexplained fertility".
I decided I wanted to stay home and not celebrate my birthday - but my husband and friends had other ideas. They brought my birthday to me.
I have an appointment with the specialist to advise me of what my options are and we will try again. This may well be our last attempt as it's getting rather pricy and too emotional. I suppose we will wait and see.
Good luck to all out there who are going through this, I know it's hard - believe me!
top of page
An older couple's journey through IVF
We are sharing our journey in a hope that it will encourage those of you who are travelling the same road and give courage to those couples who are considering embarking on the journey, especially the "older" ones.
My name is Rod and our journey started when my wife, Lynette, discovered she was menopausal in her early 30s, long before we were married. After knowing each other for a while and with the relationship looking like it was going to be more than a friendship, Lynette told me her sad news. It was a bitter pill to swallow for me and a distressing moment for Lynette. Although I greatly desired children I realised that marriage was far more than just for bearing and raising children. I laid my hope for children to rest and married the most wonderful woman I have ever met. For both Lynette and I it was our first marriage. We believed at that stage that we would never be able to have any children. Together we grieved over this.
In mid 2004 we found out that one Lynette's friends had fallen pregnant through IVF. We were further surprised to find out that she had required both an egg and sperm donor. Together we discussed this and whether or not we wanted to get our hopes up again, possibly just to be dashed. As Lynette was now 48.5 years old we decided it was now or never. We discovered through Lynette's friend that she was assisted by Sydney IVF in Newcastle.
We contacted Sydney IVF Newcastle and arranged an appointment to discuss our options.
Over the next few weeks we met with counsellors and nurses who spoke to us about physical, emotional, psychological, financial and legal issues surrounding our proposed journey.
We now realised that we still had a real chance of becoming parents, but we would have to move quick as the cut off age for women was 50 years old.
We advertised for an egg donor through Sydney's Child and then sat back and nervously waited as the days and then weeks passed with no calls. We received a total of 3 ladies who responded to our ads, one of whom became our egg donor. It is amazing that there are wonderful ladies out there that are prepared to go to such lengths to make someone else's dream of having a family a reality. They are true treasures in our society.
We approached our first cycle a little starry eyed and optimistic about the possibilities. Only one embryo managed to go the distance and was implanted late in 2005. Lynette was extremely careful looking after herself to give us the best chance of falling pregnant. On the day of the test we were nervous but excited as we waited for the results. We phoned Sydney IVF, and were totally deflated when they told us that the embryo had not taken. We spent that night consoling each other and were still upset the next day.
Our donor was somewhat more upbeat about the situation, wondering when we were going to try again. After talking the situation over we decided that we would only have enough time left before the cut off age for one more try, so, with a revised, more realistic outlook, we started on cycle number 2.
Equipped with information from the first cycle, it was decided that our donor needed to be more stimulated to produce more eggs. This worked quite well as with this harvest we obtained 19 eggs, 15 of which were fertilised. Of the 15 only 2 made it to the blastocyst stage.
In early April Lynette was implanted with one of the embryos. This time we were somewhat more anxious, not wishing to allow ourselves to be too optimistic for a positive result. We didn't want to go through the same grief as we did last time.
On a sunny day in the middle of April, overlooking Newcastle beach, we found out that we were pregnant.
We instantly experienced a whirlwind of emotions from absolute joy to "oh my gosh what have we done!" and everything in between.
Over the next few weeks life began to change for us. Lynette was banned from anything strenuous; including most housework and any lifting that was awkward or heavy (yes I hear all the ladies cheering!!). Her job was to grow bubby and my job was, well, everything else. I also was doing all the cooking (we both cook normally, so I am not scared of this). Lynette also seemed to take a dislike to most things that I cooked for dinner as she would regularly deposit it in the porcelain receptacle. Funny thing that morning/evening sickness.
At our 8 week visit to Dr Jock Shumack we had an ultrasound to check on the progress of our bubby. We were so overjoyed to see our baby's heart beat.
We had further ultrasounds at 12 weeks and 20 weeks, the later being the morphology scan. Having had everything else so structured and clinical in the pregnancy we decided that we didn't want to know what we were having. There just had to be something left for a surprise. On Fathers' Day I received the best present that a first time daddy could get, and that was to feel the baby move for the first time. It is an amazing feeling.
Another ultrasound was organised for us at 35 weeks by Dr Jock as he wanted to make sure everything was progressing OK. He was a more nervous than we were as he hadn't had a pregnant patient that old before.
Unfortunately the 35 week ultrasound failed to show a stomach on bubby. Having seen a stomach on an earlier ultrasound, coupled with Lynette having excessive amniotic fluid, they decided to admit Lynette to hospital for bed rest and observations.
Five days later on the 8th December 2006, shortly after 2 pm our beautiful little son, Nathan, was delivered via emergency Caesar. He weighed in at 1802 grams. Numerous doctors including paediatricians and neonatologists were present due to the possibility of unknown complications. Nathan was whisked away from us almost immediately for tests.
Shortly after, we were informed that his oesophagus was not joined to his stomach and that it would require surgery at a later date to join it. Apart from that he is a healthy, happy and hungry little boy, fed by a tube into his stomach. He will remain in Neonatal ICU until the time of his operation, scheduled for mid February.
Nathan is now close to 50 days old and Lynette is wearing a groove in the road between home and the John Hunter Hospital as she daily visits him for cares and feeds. I am back at work but am also making N.I.C.U a second home.
Would we do it all again, knowing what we do now? In a nano-second!!!
Nothing compares to the joy of holding your special "gift from God" (the meaning of Nathan) and having him look straight into your eyes.
Lynette and I would like to thank all the wonderful people at Sydney IVF at Newcastle and Dr Jock Shumack, our obstetrician, without whom none of this would have been possible. Everyone is so friendly and accommodating and we are extremely blessed to have had them involved in the conception and birth of our son.
Finally a special thank you to the doctors, nurses, admin and ward staff at N.I.C.U level 2 and 3 at the John Hunter Hospital. Their care, dedication and teamwork are second to none. Their love of the babies is reflected in everything they do and our deepest appreciation is extended to them.
Miracles do happen!
top of page
My experience of donor conception
Six years ago, we decided that we were going to have a baby. I imagined that we would get pregnant straight away. But things didn’t work out quite as we had planned. Instead, they worked out in a very beautiful and unexpected way, and this is our story.
Like many people we journeyed down the long IVF road for a number of years. We started with the usual timed intercourse, CLOMID, artificial insemination and then finally IVF. Every time we tried something new we would get excited thinking that it might work only to have our hopes dashed. It got harder and harder. We had failed cycles; cycles with only a few eggs; cycles where the embryos would get to the blastocyst stage but would not go any further; cancelled cycles; cycles where unexpected things would happen and even one cycle when I became pregnant – for a few days…. I became sadder and more depressed the more cycles that didn’t work.
While I was spiralling into this quagmire of depression, we were in the competent and caring hands of the very compassionate Sydney IVF team – our doctor, the nurses and our counsellor. They knew what was going on. Not only did they understand what was happening to my body, they knew that this journey was taking a mental toll on me. So, after a couple of years, both my doctor and the counsellor suggested that we consider donor conception with an egg donor. “For your wellbeing”, they said. And, how right they were.
The process of going through donor conception did not take as much time as the IVF journey but there were many issues to deal with. This was stressful. Who would or could become our donor? Would I really feel like I was a mother? What would it be like having children that didn’t look like me? How would I feel about this? Would I bond with the child? How would the egg donor relate to the child? What would it be like for the child? And, would we be comfortable with the answers to all of these questions?
Because we hadn’t yet experienced having a child, let alone one born through donor conception, everything was abstract. This caused me a lot of anxiety. I spoke to the Sydney IVF counsellors many times. They referred me to the latest research findings and spoke to me about the experiences of other people. I read websites about the experience of donor conception. One resource that I found particularly useful was Caroline Lorbach’s excellent book, Experiences of Donor Conception which thoughtfully nutted through some of the difficult issues. It told donor conception stories from different points of view. I also spoke to people who had gone through the experience of donor conception to find out what it was like to be a parent of a donor-conceived child and what it was like for their children.
We talked to family and friends to try to decide about whether to go ahead. Everyone was really positive. Of the conversations we had with different people, a number of comments stick in my mind. One person said that it was the relationship with your child that was important. Another person said that every child is his/her own unique person. A friend of mine whose children weren’t donor conceived hadn’t even thought in terms of her child having particular genetic traits of either her or her husband and her child was ten. Our neighbours (both scientists and coincidentally going through the process of donor conception themselves) spoke of the importance of nurture in the development of a child. All of these conversations helped us to decide to pursue donor conception.
Serendipitously, we met a woman who had the amazing generosity and love to want to become our egg donor. So we embarked on the process of egg donation. Even so, this was sometimes challenging. We didn’t know what it would be like for all the parties involved; the child, our donor, and us. But our donor was unswerving in her commitment and desire to help us achieve our dream of having a family and I don’t think we could have gone ahead if she wasn’t so supportive of us all the way. We also had many conversations with the Sydney IVF counsellors who guided us through all the different issues and emotions. They were wise and compassionate.
In the end, we did take the leap of faith and all three of us went through the IVF process together and I became pregnant – with twins. It was wonderful and I never once doubted that I was the mother of these developing babies during the time I was pregnant.
Now, more than a year after the babies’ birth, I feel beautifully connected to my children and everything I worried about didn’t eventuate. Our dear friend and my husband and I are completely at ease about how our children came to be. Of course, we will tell our children their story and in fact are reading them a book now about their conception. It makes me cry every time I read it thinking of the extraordinary kindness of our friend and the gift of children we now have.
We still are overawed by this magnificent gift. How wonderful to be parents.
top of page
Sydney IVF in the country
My husband and I have recently been through a stimulated IVF cycle and we would like to share our experience with those who are currently, or are contemplating going through, IVF, and especially for those people who live in a regional centre, as things seem to be done a little differently in the regions, as opposed to in the city. I also want to contribute this so that people don’t have a false expectation that IVF works first time every time.
Stimulated cycle number 1:
For my husband and I, the path to IVF has been a long one. We have been trying for a baby for over 5 years, with not one pregnancy.
We have had so many tests. I have had a laparoscopy, had dye put through my fallopian tubes to determine if there is a blockage, pelvic ultrasounds, blood test after blood test, and still no answers. My husband has also had a heap of tests, including sperm tests, checks for the presence of antibodies and DNA tests. Again, no apparent problems. We, unfortunately, fit into that frustrating category of “unexplained infertility”.
We were initially very fearful of IVF, mainly because of the unknown effect the fertility drugs may have on my emotions. Given I was so frightened that fertility drugs could exacerbate anxiety, we both agreed that IVF would be a last resort treatment for us, and so, after 4 years of trying for a baby, we set about trying some alternative therapies, including naturopathy at a well known (and very expensive) natural fertility clinic in Sydney, and fortnightly acupuncture. Even after losing a significant amount of weight, eating an amazingly healthy diet and taking a concoction of herbs, vitamins and minerals, we still didn’t fall pregnant. By this time, we were very frustrated, and our anxiety levels were ever increasing.
After a while, and with a considerable amount of thought, we decided that it was finally time to give IVF a try. Given we live in a regional area, we had to wait a number of months to see a SIVF doctor to get the IVF go-ahead, and then a further couple of months waiting for the IVF lab to come to town. After seeing the IVF doctor, I commenced taking the contraceptive pill to ensure that I was at the correct phase in my cycle for when the IVF lab came to town. I was on the pill for about six weeks, during which I felt terrible. I felt as though I had PMS for about a month (!!) and my poor husband could barely tolerate me. I was a real witch – ha ha. The constant state of PMS also made me worry about the IVF drugs. If the pill made me feel so awful, then I was sure the IVF drugs would make me feel even worse.
When it finally came time to start the injections, I was so excited, but at the same time so nervous. There were so many unknowns – would the drugs stimulate my ovaries adequately? Would there be any eggs to pick-up? Would the egg pick-up hurt? Would my husband’s sperm fertilise my eggs? Would the embryos last until day 5? If so, would a pregnancy commence? Regardless of the fears, I was quite excited at the prospect of a pregnancy, and I think that is what kept me going.
I was very fearful of the needles, and since I was convinced I couldn’t give them to myself, my husband agreed to do it for me, even though he was very nervous about hurting me. Thankfully however, the needles were a piece of cake. They hurt a little, but it lasted for a millisecond. And, thank heavens, I had no side effects from the drugs what-so-ever. In fact I felt great. After being on the pill for all of those weeks, and feeling so ‘ordinary’. it was great to feel so well again. I was so relieved that the drugs had no adverse effect on my emotions. I also believe that having some time off work at the same time really helped me get through IVF. In all, I had five weeks leave, during which I was largely a domestic goddess! Bliss.
At the start of the FSH, I instantly felt my ovaries responding to the drugs. They felt a little ‘twingey’. Not sore, but I could definitely feel something going on. The sensations that I felt settled down after a few days, and other than the needles every night, I hardly knew I was receiving IVF treatment. I honestly felt so well. So, for someone who was so fearful of the effects of the drugs, I can honestly say that for me, it was no big deal.
After a while, the blood tests began in earnest. I had one every third day or so, which was quite OK. The people at the pathologists had to use the same vein for every blood test (ouch), but they were mostly very gentle, and again, the pain was only fleeting.
After a bit longer, it was finally time to have our first ultrasound. I was very nervous, as I wasn’t sure what would show up on the screen. Were there any ovarian cysts or fibroids that may halt our cycle? Were there any/many follicles? How big were they?
During the ultrasound, my husband was charged with writing down the number of follicles in each ovary, and documenting the dimensions of each. After our first ultrasound, a total of 15 follicles were counted, which we were told was a good number, although we were aware that follicles did not necessarily equate to eggs. Still, we were happy to know that the drugs were having the desire effect.
Not long after the first ultrasound, I started spotting. I was so distressed and angry at my body. I was convinced that it was letting us down. However, being the calm and sensible one, my husband encouraged me to ring the nurse coordinator. I left a message on her mobile (it was late on a Saturday night), and within 30 seconds, she had rung me back. Once I explained what was going on, she reassured me that everything would be alright. Her summation was that the drugs were helping to build up the endometrium, but because it was getting so thick, some of it was starting to come away. Even so, she said that they would check my endometrium at the next ultrasound, which was scheduled for a few days time.
At our second ultrasound, a total of 16 follicles were counted. Even better!! And thankfully, my endometrium was just fine, and the spotting had virtually disappeared. Phew.
Later that afternoon, a date was finally made for the egg pick-up, which by that stage I was looking forward to as my belly was starting to feel very heavy and somewhat tender. I was also very excited that the whole IVF process was moving along.
We were told to have the trigger injection at 3am in the morning, which was 36 hours before the scheduled egg pick-up! So, just to make sure we didn’t miss it, we set three alarm clocks (!), but of course, we didn’t need any of them, as I simply couldn’t sleep due to the anticipation of the injection and the impending egg pick-up.
The trigger injection really hurt. We were told it would, and boy, they weren’t wrong. In fact, the site of the injection was sore for two or three days afterward.
The next 36 hours seemed to drag on forever, but when the time for the egg pick up finally came around, I was a nervous wreck. We were admitted into the hospital, after which I was given a couple of paracetamol tablets for pain management, and got changed into my gorgeous hospital gown. After an hour or so, a nurse came to pick me up and take me into the room for the egg pick-up procedure to be carried out. I was so nervous I could barely speak and I was shaking like a leaf.
After some initial dramas with the intravenous sedative, and a husband that nearly fainted (silly thing watched me get the needle!!) my doctor got under way with the procedure. I can tell you, it was mighty uncomfortable!! I wouldn’t say it was painful, it was just highly unpleasant and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Thank goodness my hubby was there to pat my forehead and tell me I was going OK. I felt really sorry for him, as he was green from watching the doctor carry out the procedure, and my obvious discomfort. The first ovary, my right, was the first to be aspirated, and it took about 5 minutes. Then the second, which took a little less.
Even though I was pretty groggy for most of the procedure, I was so relieved when the scientist started calling out that she had found some eggs. By the end of her searching, we got 15 eggs in total, which was great. We were so pleased.
I was sent home a couple of hours later feeling rather sore and sorry for myself, but on a real high, given we got such a great number of eggs. Nonetheless, we were very nervous, as we had the anxious wait overnight to see if my husband’s sperm would fertilise my eggs.
First thing the next morning, our nurse coordinator rang with the news – nine of the 15 eggs had fertilised. Woo hoo. What a HUGE relief. I was so worried that fertilisation may have been the big hurdle for us, but so far so good.
After three days, our nurse coordinator rang with the news that 6 embryos were good, with three being only fair. We were happy with that, and just hoped that they would keep growing.
The day of the embryo transfer was a really weird one. We were so excited about the transfer, but at the same time, we were so uncertain about the outcome of the transfer. It was a day of really mixed emotions.
When we arrived for the procedure, we were shocked to hear that we only had two good embryos (out of an original nine!). One was to be transferred then and there, with the other one to be frozen. I know it sounds ungrateful, but I was so depressed that we didn’t get more high quality embryos. Our nurse coordinator reassured us that we were lucky, as not many couples get any embryos to freeze, and some don’t get any at all. That made us feel a bit better and more appreciative for what we did have.
Following the news that we only had two embryos, the embryo transfer was carried out, and it was a breeze. The transfer was quite straight forward and was not unlike a pap smear, although given I was still a bit tender from the egg pick-up, I was pleased when the doctor said “all done!”. He then asked me “Have you got morning sickness yet?”. Ha ha.
We went home and tried to be really positive that our little embryo was continuing to grow inside me, but at the same time, given most of our embryos didn’t have the energy to keep growing in the lab, we were very nervous about how well this one would go.
The next morning, our nurse coordinator rang with the good news that an additional two embryos grew overnight, and were now up to a standard suitable for freezing. So, in the end, we had three embryos available for freezing, which is great.
After yet another blood test, we learned that I didn’t need to have another Pregnyl injection, as the doctors were a bit fearful it may have over-stimulated my ovaries. Instead, I had Crinone pessaries morning and night, which were very straight forward, until either I got a period, or, a pregnancy was confirmed. I was also stoked that I didn’t have to have any more injections. Woo hoo.
The two week wait was dreadful. It was just the pits, and for me, the very worst of the whole IVF experience. I returned to work a few days after the transfer, and it was really hard to get focussed on work. All I could think of was “am I pregnant????”. Not knowing was AWWWFFULLLL.
Unfortunately for us, our little embryo didn’t take. Surprisingly, I wasn’t the devastated mess I was convinced I would be. I guess after five years of trying, we are quite accepting of the fact that a baby is just not meant to come into our lives at this point in time. I have a wonderful husband and a great life, so things aren’t at all bad. Nonetheless, we would love to have a baby, and so, we will be heading to Sydney in January 07 to have our first frozen embryo cycle. I am too impatient to wait for the lab to come back to town in March! I am excited, but of course, still very nervous about the outcome. I have my fingers crossed that all goes well this time around….
Best wishes to you all,
Nicky
top of page
Maxine's IVF Diary
Following is a diary I kept during my IVF cycle. I found that I read the "One Couple's Story" page over and over during my cycle when I was really anxious about different things. I think more stories would be really helpful and hope that mine might be useful.
29 May 2006 - Our first appointment
Finally the day we’ve been waiting for ! I left the folder with all our completed forms in it by the door to make sure we didn’t forget it and we forgot it! We got to the station and I realised and so we raced back home and then ran back up to the station (I felt like crying). In hindsight, we should have just left the forms and I could have dropped them in the next day but my excitement about the appointment made me want everything to be just perfect.
On our arrival Wendy told Rob that she would be able to do the blood test that he needed and so poor Rob looked like he wanted to run out the door! Rob hates needles!
After our stressful start everything went smoothly and we left loaded with lots of information and the knowledge that we would be getting started in just a few weeks ! Rob’s blood test was over and done with as well!
15 June 2006
Time to start taking the Provera. Easy.
I had a pap smear on the weekend and I can’t believe it! The results showed a small lesion. My heart began to race as I immediately thought I’d have to put the treatment on hold. I called Dr Livingstone’s rooms. His wonderful secretary told me to fax through the results and they would get back to me. I arranged for my GP to fax them over and thankfully Dr Livingstone thought there was no reason to stop treatment but that if my GP thought I should see a gynaecologist he would recommend one.
19 June 2006
I had my blood test and I can start the Lucrin injections. I’ve already been taking the Provera tablets for 5 days. I was a bit disappointed as I was secretly hoping that Wendy would say I was pregnant. I had a little cry and then reminded myself that that’s why we’re doing ICSI. I decided to get my friend to do the first injection for me so that it would be out of the way and it was fine! Wendy told me on the phone that the first injection could be at any time of the day but then all subsequent doses should be taken at the same time (usually in the morning or evening). It’s all happening!
21 June 2006
I saw the gynaecologist and it was fine. Just have to have a repeat smear in 6 months if I’m not pregnant. If all goes well, just have a repeat after the baby is born (imagine ...). My main fear was interrupting the treatment. What a relief!
22 June 2006
I finished taking the Provera tablets yesterday and I’ve now had my third Lucrin injection. Rob is doing the injections for me which is great as it gets him involved. I can’t believe that he’s able to do it (I think I would probably be able to do them myself to be honest as they don’t hurt a bit but I like the idea of Rob helping).
I actually feel great. I’ve been seeing Lynne the counsellor and she has been wonderful. My biggest problem was worrying. Worrying about having another miscarriage, worrying about reacting badly to the drugs and worrying about how worrying would affect everything! In essence getting anxious about things that haven’t happened yet. It’s really important to take it day at a time (as Lynne says). So that’s what I’m doing now. There’s a long way to go at this point so I have to “wait and see”. Right now I feel like we’re doing something positive, in fact we’re doing everything we can to have the baby we long for. That’s all we can do.
I’m now looking forward to my next blood test on Saturday and the go ahead to start the FSH injections. My period seems to be taking forever to arrive this month!
26 June 2006
Did I say I thought I could do the injections myself? Well I tried on Friday evening and sat there for about 5 minutes trying to jab myself until I finally handed it over to Rob. Oh well, I’m lucky Rob can do them.
On Saturday morning we arrived at the clinic at 8.00 am sharp for my blood test. I must of drank at least a litre of water and I made Rob run from the office to the clinic so I could get my blood pumping. I’ve been told my veins are as flat as pancakes!
My period didn’t arrive until the Monday and so as we are on the PGD trial we have to wait until the following Saturday to start the FSH.
10 July 2006
Wow weird, suddenly last night I came to the realisation that I was going to have a local anaesthetic injection sometime soon (yet another needle) and it wasn’t just going to be in my tummy or bottom. Some people have the general anaesthetic for the egg retrieval. Maybe I’ll see about being one of those lucky people.
11 July 2006 (first thing!)
I called Mark’s rooms FIRST THING to talk about the option of having a general anaesthetic, I know it’s an additional cost but I explained that I have a very low pain threshold. Mark said that most women are fine with the local, of course I could have the general, but he wouldn’t be doing what he’s doing if he had to make people scream every day. That made me feel a little better so I decided I’d be brave and be able to see what was going on. Mark also said to arrive a little earlier and I could have a sleeping tablet to help me relax.
13 July 2006
I finally had the trigger injection last night. It was really funny because a couple of days ago I rang Wendy in a bit of a panic when I’d opened the Gonal F box and was horrified when I saw those huge needle-looking things. I was preparing to have to go to a medical centre as surely Rob wouldn’t be able to do that one! Of courses those weren’t the needles. They are just for mixing so it’s just another injection very similar to the others.
The timing of the trigger injection is really important so mine had to be at 7.00 pm. Wendy told me to warn Rob to prepare everything about 15 minutes before to give himself plenty of time. It did take longer than expected so I had it at around 7.05, Rob managed to break two of the vials, it was a bit tricky with his large hands. He was wonderful though and in the end it was fine.
17 July 2006
I had the egg retrieval on Friday. It was absolutely fine. We were the first to arrive at the day surgery at 6.30 am and we filled in some forms and then it started to happen pretty quickly. I had a sleeping tablet before Dr Livingstone arrived and then it was time to go through to the surgery. Rob was there holding my hand which was very comforting and then I was given the intravenous sedative and I felt much more relaxed, in fact so relaxed that I just didn’t really care any more! It was over in about 5 minutes and I even saw one of my eggs (before I couldn’t be bothered watching!)
We got 3 eggs. I had to be told a couple of times as Rob had gone to do his part of it all and I was still very out of it. I’d hoped for a lot more but still, it only takes one and it’s quality not quantity (so they say anyway!). What a relief. I had a cup of tea and in no time at all we were able to go home. The sleeping tablet started to kick in just as we were leaving I think!
All 3 eggs were successfully fertilised with ICSI. Great news so far!
18 July 2006
It looks like we may be down to 2 eggs as one only has 4 cells instead of between 6-8. It’s very stressful and to be honest I feel terrible. I had to go and see one of the nurses during my lunch hour. I began to feel really hopeless and just needed to see someone who might be able to reassure me.
Sarah told me that some people get lots of eggs and end up with none suitable for transfer. Others get only a couple and all are suitable. There is still hope. I think this is one of the worst stages for me so far. Even if there is just one egg at least there is a chance.
Later that day Wendy called me to let me know that there was one egg suitable, we wouldn’t be in the PGD trial. She would call me at about 9.00 am tomorrow to let me know when to come across for the transfer.
19 July 2006
Fortunately I work very close to the day surgery so I was able to pop over to there at 10.00 am and I was back to work well within the hour. First the scientist came and spoke to me about what had been happening with the embryos over the last few days and then it was time to go into the theatre. She also confirmed my identification (very important obviously!).
It was very much like a pap smear and over very quickly. I was able to see the embryo before the transfer and then when it had settled into my womb. Mark pointed it out for me “looks very much like an air bubble” he said. It certainly did, in fact I just can’t believe that it could possibly come to anything. I had to have a blood test and then I could go back to work. I couldn’t help thinking it was going to fall out, in fact it felt a little bit like maybe everything might just fall out but I think I could have been a little tender and bloated.
Wendy called me in the afternoon just to see how things went and I told her it was fine and that I felt fine. She would call me tomorrow with news of how much Pregnyll I needed to have injected.
20 July 2006
Wendy called with my dosage amount at about 2.00 as promised and wished me luck. That’s about it now until my blood test on the 29th. I’ll have my final injection tonight.
26 July 2006
After watching a British IVF documentary last night and seeing them do one of those urine pregnancy tests I rushed to the chemist this morning and bought a two-pack. The first one was very faint so I was really disappointed. The next 3 I did over the next couple of days were also faint. Doing home tests is a really really bad idea. They caused me so much more anxiety!
29 July 2006 - The longest day
The test was positive! Wendy called me at about 1.30 in the afternoon. I had been crying most of the day so when she gave me the news I broke down (again). I had her repeat the result and she told me my levels were at 180 when they were looking for a minimum of 100. That one embryo had made it!
It’s a day I’ll always remember. Rob and I had to go and pick up our wedding album and I think the person we saw must have thought we were the most uptight and unhappy couple of newly weds ever! Our album was beautiful but because I was waiting for such an important phone call I just didn’t want to be anywhere but curled up on the sofa away from everyone. At least it passed some time and in the end it was a great day, just an anxious one!
23 August 2006
I had my 7 week scan yesterday! It was just amazing. I was able to see the heartbeat and get that extra bit of reassurance that the treatment had been successful. We still have a few more weeks until I’ll feel completely confident but all going well our baby will be due on 6 April 2007. We are so happy!
top of page
Endometriosis issues
After suffering from the physical pain and emotional suffering of endometriosis and infertility for five years, it now all seems like a distant memory. I had four surgeries to remove endometriosis lesions from the ovaries and abdominal cavity, which never really improved pain management or fertility. I was still on strong pain relievers 20 days out of every month with excruciating pain at my body's attempt at ovulation through diseased tissues. The use of ovulation predictors, acupuncture, fertility diets, thyroid medication, etc were never successful at helping us to conceive. I started IVF at the age of 34, thinking it would be a terrible physical and emotional roller coaster. Surprisingly the drugs used in IVF suppressed my endometriosis symptoms and I felt better than ever. I only had a bit of bloating, light headache and nausea, but otherwise felt very well.
I had a general anaesthesia for the egg collection because of the endometriosis in my ovaries. I had six eggs collected, four of which fertilised normally, and we had one embyro implanted. The embryo transfer was so quick and painless, and two weeks later I had a positive blood test!
My baby boy is now 18 months old and my endometriosis symptoms have all but disappeared. In the 18 months following his birth I have used light pain relievers only 3 times. Overall, IVF was a great experience and not at all as difficult as I had expected. I thought my doctor, Mark Bowman, and the staff were terrific. I have referred good friends to him, and they have also been lucky enough to fall pregnant. I hope to be able to use my 3 frozen embyros in the future. Good luck to everyone undertaking IVF and motherhood!
Valorie
top of page
Endless love
Well, I have been going to do this for a very long time and it was just never the right time. It has been such a long and painful journey but I will start by telling you that it does have a happy ending, one that we thought may never come but finally our world has become as close to perfect as we could ever have imagined.
After being together for 5½ years, we were married on 9 September 1995 and waited until February 1998 (when we were both ready) to start trying for a baby. After 12 months of trying it became apparent that we should see a specialist and although David was fine, I suffer from endometriosis and I have polycystic ovary syndrome. This means that I don't ovulate on my own.
We spent about 12 months on oral drugs but it took the highest dose to make me ovulate and there was no pregnancy, so my doctor suggested that we start with IVF. Our first cycle was in May 2000 and resulted in a twin pregnancy. To say the least, we were excited until on 27 July (at 10 weeks) we had an ultrasound that showed that neither baby had a heart beat and I was booked in for a D&C.
After 2 months we started back with frozen embryo transfers which, on the 3rd attempt, took and we found out on 20 December that we were again pregnant. The best Christmas present ever. Through this pregnancy I had bleeding at 10, 16 & 22 weeks but everything seemed fine. At my 19 week ultrasound the only problem was a low placenta, hence the bleeding, and they would just keep a check on that.
At 28 weeks they did another ultrasound to check the position of the placenta and the good news was that it had moved. The devastating news was that the baby had severe hydrocephalus (fluid on the brain). Her ventricles were 3 and 3½ times the size they should be. Her prognosis was uncertain but they could guarantee us that she would have problems. After a heartbreaking 5 days we decided that we had to do what was best for her. On Friday 15 June 2001 (29 weeks) we went to the hospital to be induced. After 58 hours our precious Angel Princess was born. Her name is Brodie and born at 29½ weeks on Sunday 17 June 2001 at 7.49pm she weighed 5 lb 3oz (1510grams) was 16 in long (41cm) and was perfect in every way to us. So tiny yet on the big side for her term. She obviously had an enlarged head (28cm or 11 in) and after an autopsy we found that she also had either no eyes or microscopic eyes so she also would have been blind. How were we to cope with all of this? We had waited so long to have a baby and now she was ripped away from us. The only choice we had as parents was to do the best we could for our daughter.
We got through Brodie's funeral and I got really sick. I was dosed up on antibiotics and ended up a few weeks later unable to walk and admitted to a physical rehab hospital for two weeks as I had a severe inflammation in my sacroiliac joint (in the pelvis). As if David hadn't seen enough watching me go through Brodie’s labour and then he has to have me not at home so soon after the worst time in our lives.
We eventually got back to physically normal and in October we fell pregnant by ourselves only to miscarry on 5 November 2001.
Brodie was the last of our frozen embryos so we decided to try another IVF cycle and two fresh embryos were implanted on 20 December 2001. We found out on 30 December that we were pregnant again and we were due on our 7th wedding anniversary. I can't describe how I was feeling somewhere between elation and fear and confusion, I guess. When we were 7 weeks we discovered that we were having twins. We could not have been happier. Throughout Brodie's pregnancy I had extreme morning sickness and lost 6kg in 3 weeks, but with this pregnancy I wasn't very sick at all, just a bit off colour now and then. I had myself convinced that I was sick with Brodie because she wasn't well.
Anyway everything was progressing really well and the only concern was the fact that there were two babies. We were really nervous though, because of before. My 19 week scan was really good they were both thriving and we saw the lenses in both their eyes on the scan. That was just one thing that they didn't have wrong that Brodie did. I was feeling really good although very tired and at 20 weeks my fundal height was 30 weeks, I was huge and only half way. My Dad was diagnosed with heart problems and scheduled for a quadruple heart by-pass on 25 April (he's was 56) and that was hard. We were all worried that we would lose him. He came through fine and was allowed home on 4 May still really sore.
On Sunday 5 May at 8.00am I was feeling a bit crampy and resting on the lounge when I felt something and realised that I was bleeding. I showered and we went straight to the hospital, I was only 22 weeks. While at the hospital my waters broke and they sent me for an ultrasound, which showed that both babies were ok, and twin 1 had slightly less fluid. The plan was to put me on anti-biotics and anti-contraction drugs and leave me in bed. At 3.30pm I went to the toilet and Twin 1 was partially born and at 3.55 pm Sunday 5 May 2002 he was born, our brave little man. His name is Logan and he weighed 15oz (420grams) and was 11 in long (28 cm) and he looked just like his Daddy. Now the wait began to see if the drugs could prevent Twin 2 from being born. Four days and 2 1/2 hours later the wait ended. After 19 ½ hours labour our second little boy, our little fighter man was born at 6.25pm on Thursday 9 May 2002 his name is Alex and he weighed 1lb 1 1/2oz (500grams) and was 11 in long (28cm) and he looked just like his Mummy. Alex lived for 65 minutes and although that time with him was so precious it was so so hard to watch him gasp for air. He tried so hard but he was just born too soon. They were both perfect. The only reason they were born so soon is because of their size. They were just too big for ‘my’ uterus to hold in. When they were born (22 weeks) my fundal height was 36, 14 weeks bigger than it is for a singleton.
Yet another funeral over and how were we to go on. Brodie’s first birthday came and we had a little party for her, just the two of us, I made her a special cake and we sang and blew out her candle together. David turned 30 on 6 August and didn’t want to see anyone, which I totally understand, so we just had tea together at home. Refusing to use contraception we found out officially on 21 August that we were pregnant. By some miracle I had ovulated and we did it all by ourselves with no medical help. Oh my God ! Maybe this was meant to be and everything would be ok. We were due 28 April 2003. Everything was going good with no problems at all and I was seeing my OB every 3 weeks. I was feeling good and when we went for a routine check up at 16 weeks there was no heart beat. Yet again our baby had died. I was put into hospital the next day and induced. I chose induction because I wanted to know the sex of the baby and I wanted to hold him. Induction went more smoothly this time and after 8 hours labour our 3rd little boy was born at 8.45pm on Tuesday 12 November 2002 his name is Tanner and he weighed 3 ½ oz (100grams) and was 6.8in long (17cm) and although he was less developed than his sister and brothers he too was perfect to us. We chose to have Tanner cremated and placed with his sister and brothers at our local crematorium, but we also chose not to have a funeral service (not required by law as he was under 20 weeks). I felt guilty that we didn’t have a service so at 8.45pm on 19 November we had a service for him in our back yard, just the two of us where we would have held his baby naming ceremony. It will haunt me forever that he is the only one without a birth certificate but I suppose there is nothing I can do about it, it’s the law.
I turned 30 on 2 December and didn’t see anyone, as I couldn’t cope. My life was supposed to be so different. I would so much rather it have been me and I would be watching over my seven children but I didn’t have the choice. If I did I would happily give my life for theirs. (Mind you, David wouldn’t be happy about that).
During Tanner’s pregnancy I was referred to a blood pressure specialist as my blood pressure is quite erratic. They assure me that it had nothing to do with Tanner’s death. They put me on tablets to control it and they were not pregnancy safe. I was on them for 12 months and then they changed me to pregnancy safe drugs.
When the all clear came from the doctors, we went back to IVF using frozen embryos, it took a few attempts but we fell pregnant again only to miscarry again. We had another break for about a year and decided to try again first thing in the new year of 2005. We had frozen embryos left (from when I was 29) but chose to go for a full cycle. I was now 32 and if we succeeded, if we went back for more I would be 35+ and may need those 29 year old eggs. A bit crazy? Well maybe, but the girls at Sydney IVF and our doctor had come to expect that from me now. One full cycle with hyperstimulation and a frozen transfer failed, then we had another full cycle and we were told on 16 July 2005 we were pregnant again. (pregnancy 7 and baby 9).
At 14 weeks I had a stitch put in my cervix, just in case. To say the least it was a somewhat stressful pregnancy, but I had great support from my family, our friends, the Sydney IVF girls and the most fantastic and understanding and patient doctor on the planet. After the 30 week mark we started to settle with the idea that it might all be ok this time and allowed ourselves to order a pram etc. I decided on an elective Caesar this time as I was frightened that I would get to full term and the baby would die on the way out (cue that doctor I described). We had it all planned for 38 weeks and he is an inpatient little fellow, just like his Mummy, and I went into labour at 37 weeks. Our precious and beautiful and perfect little boy Cobi Young was born by emergency Caesar at 1.34am on Wednesday 1 March 2006. He weighed 7lb 4 oz (3286g) and was 50cm (20in) long.
We feel like the luckiest parents in the world although we have been so unlucky, we have been rewarded with what we do have. What matters is we have each other and we have our baby boy.
From starting to try until Cobi’s birth has been 8 years and 2 months. Everything we have been through together has been hard but through some good luck and a lot of good management and loads of love, we have become closer. We take a lot less for granted and little things like a spotless house and paying off the house just don’t seem to matter as much any more. The IVF road is an emotionally and physically draining process. In my opinion, the emotional side is much much harder than the physical side and no one can ever fully understand until they have been through it. If you can manage to come out the other side and be gifted with a baby at the end, it is more than worth it. The best part about writing this has been that some of it was typed with one hand. The other hand has been holding Cobi and he would just like to say:-
Nm HT2LKM O;AA`Q` MN`````````sz
q. /?J;erbiloj,,,kj, t
Cobi was 6 months old on 1 September and he is happy and healthy and strong. I’m not a religious person but I do believe that his sister's and brothers’ energy is around us always.
Thank you for reading our story and I can only hope that it will help someone else in their journey through IVF and maybe when you think all hope is gone it can remind you that it can happen.
Stacy, David and Cobi
top of page
Unexplained infertility
Hello Sydney IVF,
Our first child, a beautiful baby boy, was conceived naturally when I was 23 years old after no more than two months of trying. We thought we were very lucky.
But when we started trying for a second child, nothing happened. We tried for more than two years and had all kinds of tests, including a laparoscopy, but no pregnancy and no answers. We were placed in that frustrating category, “unexplained infertility”.
Finally we were referred to Sydney IVF.
We began our cycle in April 2003 and I found the injections quite OK, with no side effects and no problems at all.
I had 12 eggs picked up after the hormone treatment. I was told this is a good number. Five eggs were successfully fertilised, although one later failed. Three were frozen and the best looking embryo was placed “fresh” into my uterus. Unfortunately it didn’t implant and we were very disappointed.
A few months later, we thawed our frozen embryos. The scientists and doctor told us that two of them looked healthy enough transfer and we made the decision to have both transferred at once. We were told the possibility that this would result in twins but this was not a problem for us.
I was so nervous for the next eleven days, but the result from the pregnancy test was worth the wait - I was finally pregnant! We were over the moon.
A few weeks later I had an ultrasound and it was confirmed that I was definitely pregnant, but it was only one fetus. We felt the disappointment that it was only one and could have been two, but so happy because I was, at least, pregnant.
After a wonderful pregnancy, nine months later I gave birth to our second gorgeous son, now a healthy two-year-old.
Around our son’s first birthday, my husband and I started talking babies again but as there were no embryos left from our first cycle, IVF was not really an option for a possible third child, however, my husband and I wanted to really try again naturally for the third one.
We didn’t put any pressure on ourselves and to be honest, we were not even making love on any set dates in my monthly cycle, but whoa! - a few months later I found out I was pregnant, and this time it had happened naturally. We were amazed that after having first child naturally and trying for over two years to have the second, eventually having IVF, we were pregnant and that this had happened naturally. Nine fantastic months later I gave birth to my beautiful little daughter!
We are so happy and we thank God every day for our beautiful children. We truly were blessed and the children are our biggest pride and joy in this life.
Thank you to Sydney IVF for helping make our family truly complete!
top of page
OHSS - but all worth it in the end
My husband and I decided we needed a little help to conceive our first born child .
In June 2004 we approached Sydney IVF and started on the "emotional roller coaster" of learning, tears, moods, hopes and fears. The Lucrin needles were my worst fear at first, and after much anticipation and anxiety I sat down to watch the instruction video on how to first give myself the injection, I think I watched it twice!! Then a wave of courage sprung over me and I sat down and lifted my shirt and put it in my tummy, it was over in two seconds and I wondered wh